Homily: Holy Family – Cycle A
A crucible is a device developed in ancient times that is used to heat metals to a very high temperature. Usually made of ceramic or porcelain (or another material similarly resistant to extremely high temperatures), a crucible is used either to purify metals (by burning off any impurities from them) or to create alloys (which are mixtures of metals created by heating them together and, thus, allowing them to mix). In the crucible, metals are both tested for purity (when heated to their extreme limits) and forced to change (when mixed in with other materials). Because of these characteristics of the uses of a crucible, the term “crucible” has come also to be applied to any situation in which one is tested severely or is forced either to change or to make a difficult decision. For example, we might say of many of our war veterans that “his or her character was formed in the crucible of war.”
Perhaps we might not immediately think of it this way, but the family is a type of crucible. This has become clear to me after many years of listening to confessions here and throughout our diocese. Regularly, I hear the same or similar things from people: “I’ve been impatient with my children”, or “I was angry with my spouse and yelled at him or her”, or “I’ve been mean to my brothers and sisters”, or “I’ve not respected my mother and father.” What you all are confessing and asking forgiveness for are the limitations to love and charity that you are finding within yourselves and which are brought forth to the surface within the crucible that is your family. In other words, we all have an ideal of how we should live and interact with each other as a family, but when the heat and pressure begin to build through our daily interactions with each other, our character is tested and impurities begin to show. We are challenged to change and many of you come to the confessional looking for forgiveness for your failures and for the grace to make the necessary changes.
The Holy Family, whom we celebrate today, is an example for us of how to survive and to thrive in the crucible of the family. For Joseph and Mary, there was testing from the very beginning of their relationship. No sooner than Joseph was betrothed to Mary did he find out that his new wife—whom he had yet to receive into his house—was already with child. If it wasn’t for the angel’s intervention in a dream, Joseph may have divorced her straight away and the Holy Family would have been a broken one from the start.
Then, as the day for Mary to give birth came near, the command came from Caesar that all must be enrolled in the city of their ancestors. Thus, Joseph and Mary (with Jesus still in Mary’s womb) had to travel to Bethlehem—the little town that, obviously, became overcrowded with visitors—in which Mary was left to give birth to their son in a rudimentary barn carved into the side of a rock. If that wasn’t enough, some weeks later, word came to Joseph and Mary that the child was in danger of being murdered by the king and that they needed to flee from there without delay. And so the family picked up the very little that they had and went off to Egypt, where they lived as foreigners, outcast and despised, for the next seven years.
Remember also that Joseph was a few years older than Mary when they were married and that Mary was probably only 15 years-old. These were challenges with which even the most veteran families would have difficulty dealing, but they had to deal with them in the first months of their relationship. We honor them today as holy, not because they lived lives of perfect peace and harmony, but because within the crucible that is the family, they persevered in charity and in following the way of the Lord: that is, the way of righteousness.
Saint Paul seems to understand this. In his letter to the Colossians he offers us a list of virtues for how to live as “God’s chosen ones”, that is, as God’s family. He describes the virtues like they are a set of clothing that you wear. “Put on … heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another … and over all these,” he says, as if it was some sort of ‘spiritual overcoat’, “put on love, that is, the bond of perfection.” While most of us could look at this list and say, “yes, that’s how it should be,” I would guess that many of us (myself included) have a very difficult time putting this into practice. Well, Paul understands that, too. And so he continues in his letter: “let the peace of Christ control your hearts … and be thankful.” How can we achieve this lofty level of virtue? By letting the peace of Christ control our hearts and by being thankful. In other words, there’s no magic here, just the hard work of grace within us.
Paul, then, describes a way that we might begin. “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, as in all wisdom you teach and admonish one another, singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.” With the word of Christ with you in the crucible, Paul seems to say, the hard work of putting on the virtues will lightened; and when you give yourself over to praising God in “psalms, hymns and spiritual songs”, you focus less on whatever difficulty or conflict you are having and instead remember that Christ has saved us from our limitations so that we can “bear with one another” in peace.
You know, there’s something that I say often to young people in the confessional, but it is something I should probably say more to everyone. When kids and teenagers come and confess that they’ve had arguments with their brothers and sisters, maybe even that they’ve hit their brothers and sisters, and that they’ve disobeyed and disrespected their parents, I tell them this: I say, “God put you into your family to teach you how to love. And it’s the best place for you to learn how to love because it’s the hardest place to do it.” Then I continue to say, “God knows that, if you can learn how to love your family–all the time–that you’ll be able to love everywhere! Therefore, it’s necessary to put extra effort into being patient and kind with your brothers and sisters, and to be obedient and respectful to your parents. Because it will make you a saint!”
In many ways, this is the meaning of the admonition of Saint Paul at the end of our second reading today: “Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as is proper in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and avoid any bitterness toward them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, so they may not become discouraged.” Saint Paul is encouraging everyone in the family to learn the way of love within the family. It’s as if he too knows that those who learn to preserve charity and to follow the way of the Lord in the crucible of their own families, will become holy; and will be transformed into instruments of love for the world around them. ///
Brothers and sisters, the new year is rapidly approaching. Perhaps some of you have been thinking about resolutions that you’d like to make for yourselves to make 2026 a happier and more fulfilling year for you. (Perhaps some of you have given up on that idea many years ago!) To each of you I want to challenge you to look at the members of the Holy Family and make resolutions to meditate on their lives and to strive to imitate their virtues throughout the new year. Fathers/Husbands (and any other men, if you aren’t married or a father), seek to understand the virtue of Saint Joseph and to imitate it in your family. Mothers/Wives (and any other women, if you aren’t married or a mother), seek to understand the virtue of the Blessed Virgin Mary and to imitate it in your family. Children (from the youngest to the oldest still living in their family homes), seek to understand the virtue of the child Jesus and to imitate it in your family. This, along with your efforts to “put on” the virtues Saint Paul commands in the third chapter of the letter to the Colossians, will ensure that you and your family will be happier in 2026, in spite of whatever trials may come. ///
Friends, with the Holy Family as our guide, and with the strength of the grace that we receive in this Holy Eucharist, all of us can emerge in 2026 from the crucibles of our families happier and holier; but only if we entrust ourselves to God to do it. Joseph and Mary did entrust themselves to God and their family is now called holy. May 2026 be the year in which your family earns the same name.
Given in Spanish at St. Patrick Parish: Kokomo, IN – December 28th, 2025

